Teaching the Preacher to Curse: Humorous and Healthy Observations about Life, Religion, and Politics

Table of Contents

Part One: THE VIEW FROM THE PULPIT

  1. Those Chickens Nearly Burned My Church Down 
  2. The Spider Goes to Church
  3. Teaching the Preacher to Curse 

Part Two: PREACHERS ARE HUMAN TOO

  • Why Did the Doctor Put SOB on My Chart?
  • What Kind of Person Goes to a Roadmap Convention?
  • Reaching My Peak
  • Driving in Florida
  • The Bishop vs. the President vs. the Proctologist

Part Three: ALL THE PREACHER’S CREATURES

  • Earl-the-Cat
  • The Preacher’s Unholy Dog
  • For All Who Are in Authority Over Cats
  • There Were These Three Country Dogs

Part Four: THE SECRET LIFE OF PASTORS

  1. Curiosity Won’t Kill You
  2. Scrutinizing My Friends
  3. Well—That Was Humiliating
  4. High School Reunion—Before
  5. High School Reunion–After

Part Five: I BLAME MY PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS

  1. How to Be a Weird Grandparent
  2. The Preacher Meets His Grandchildren
  3. The Preacher and His Mom
  4. Never Knew That about My Parents
  5. Who Was John Smith?
  6. He Was a Rogue—That John Smith
  7. He Was a Strongman—That John Smith
  8. He Was a Dreamer—That John Smith
  9. He Was A Sweetheart—That John Smith

Part Six: SECRETLY CHANNELING THE PRESIDENTS

  • Inviting the Presidents to Dinner
  • Weighing the Presidents
  • Surprise at the Millard Fillmore House

Part Seven: MAYBE I’LL PREACH ON THAT

  • Fortune Cookies vs. New Years’ Resolutions
  • Gin and Prune Juice
  • The Wienermobile
  • The Apostle Paul on an Internet Date
  • The Pope Slaps a Troublemaker

Part Eight: CONFESSIONS

  • The Preacher Needs a Flirting Coach
  • How to Be a Manly Man
  • I Thought My Wife Was Trying to Kill Me

Part Nine: AND WHEN YOU PRAY—GO TO YOUR CLOSET

  • Irreverent Thanksgiving Prayer
  • Whose Turn to Pray?
  • Writer’s Prayer of Confession

Part Ten: STUFF I’M LEARNING FROM SMART PEOPLE

  • An Angel Named George
  • Killing My Newspaper
  • My Country ’Tis of Thee
  • The Story of Two-Face
  • Beware the Human Brain 2.0
  • A Ride with Farmer Tom