Sullivan UMC—J. Michael Smith

National Clean Joke Day

In honor of the occasion, even though I tend to be bored with “preacher jokes,” this one made even me chuckle:

A drunk stumbling through the woods comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He walks out into the water and bumps into the preacher. Almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, the preacher asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So, the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water, pulls him up and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, haven’t found Jesus.” The preacher, shocked at his answer, dunks him again, a little longer this time. Pulling him out of the water again, he asks, “Now, have you found Jesus, my brother?”

The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” By this time the preacher, at his wits end, dunks him again – this time holding him down until he begins kicking his arms and legs. Then he pulls him up. The preacher again asks, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?” After first wiping his eyes and catching his breath, the drunk asks the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

Personal Note

I got my wife to Chicago on Sunday, the first leg of her journey to visit her family in China.  It is a 15 ½ hour non-stop flight from Chicago to Hong Kong.  She spent the night there and will take a plane to Nanjing—where her family lives—another 2 hour flight.  Then it is a one hour subway ride across town to their place.  She will be in China until June 3—when she will return just in time for the United Methodist Annual Conference (Illinois Great Rivers) in Peoria the next day.

Slow News Day

I’m in town today and tomorrow—so let me know if you would like a visit.  You can come to the church or I can meet you another place.  The heart of the ministry I do is spending time with people, listening, and sharing.  Don’t be a stranger.  I can be reached at 217-898-3148 (text or phone call) or by email:  jms754@gmail.com

Sermon Series

I will finish the sermon series on the “Fruits of the Holy Spirit” this coming Sunday.  If any of you have a particular topic you would like to hear in a sermon—please let me know.  If will work it in if I can—remembering that there are a limited number of Sundays for me to preach.  If not a whole sermon on a topic—there may be ways to work your interests in for part of a sermon.